Poem (8 months old)

.. cold calamity
.. half bane. half godsend.
You turn off
the warmth
leave me freezing
rigid
without light
so cold.
I fight to escape
walls suffocate
trapping me in
..so cold
I see your reflection in the mirror
.. you look..
calm
collected
straight faced
I gasp for breath
you are not amused
our beginning is blocked
I scramble
sweat
I want air
breathing ..so sweet
your smell, your lips
let me breathe!
.. you yawn
deft of desire
..so cold.
no way out
my fingernails scratch
ice scrapings fall
painfully etching at my skin
freezerburn
doesnt matter.
you are not amused
. the reflection
you are walking away
I cannot breathe
scraping, fighting
I punch the walls
they do not give in
to petty boys
with their petty stories
I scream your name
it echos
ice traps the sound
..so cold
I miss your kiss
so warm
I want to breathe!
..you are not amused.
everything dims
light waves goodbye
kisses me on the forehead
where you did..
takes my hand
like you did.
I look in the mirror
you look..
sad.
tears freeze
down your rosy cheeks
rosy like
what got us here..
red
.passion
your finger on the trigger
just pull
I WANT TO BREATHE!
please
knees scrape the ice
I stare at you
beauty without contempt
you are not amused
I shake the mirror
glass fighting to stay together
..like me
I WANT TO BREATHE!
I want. to kiss
to feel you
nights under your deck
so warm
like your lips
red
passion
I cant see..
eyelids close
I whisper your name
dry lips
parting to utter such a noun
my last word
your lips
so warm
my mind pictures you
staring from the mirror
long hair still
eyes..
last wish
thoughts slow
please stay..

you are not amused.