Hopelessly Confused

Hopelessly confusing




I had a picture drawn of you
Waking
Yawning
In my bed
We rolled over
Did all those things
Promised
Long ago
That isn’t happening now
And I’m hopelessly confused

You have this sly little smile
Used without remorse
It dragged me along
In mountains with colors
Never before seen
I fell asleep watching
You breathe so peaceful

Our story was written
Chapters aptly named
A title and a publisher
In speech designed for only
Us to decipher
The language was stunning
It mirrored you perfectly

Oceans like diamonds
It’s all we can see
As our destination was forged from nights
Planted from fairytales
With talking pumpkins
And a moonlight that told us
We were for real


Then we kissed
There’s always something to say
To describe
I’m at a loss for words
One moment we were
And I was smiling
Now we’re not
The taste of fruit
Still covers my lips
A story made simple
It’s what I miss

I still have this picture
Where you’re beside me
The sun bathes us
Gliding along silky skin
My arms squeeze yours
Our noses gently touch
Your eyes reflect mine
Rough sheets lay around
I promise to make breakfast
Then fall back asleep
Try not to wake me
When you disappear
I don’t want to stop
This reoccurring dream

So much fun

Please never lie
I don’t want to betray perfection
Even if it means
Putting our hearts in a sling
To avoid being hurt

I’ll go ahead and pretend
I haven’t memorized your smell
Because learning it over again
Would be so much fun

And one more night
To hold onto soft fingers
Playing with them in childish amusement
Lay together
Pretending we intersect perfectly
Completing our imperfect symmetry

One more hour
To give you that smile
Kissing in-between every giggle
We’d stare at the stars
Look back at your eyes
Where there lies a secret
And ill be forever gazing
Trying to find the answer

A few more minutes
I kiss the nape of your neck
Wishing I could hold on
No one ever thinks the last kiss
Is the last kiss
Don’t let go
Let my hand’s go to your curves
I’m hastily trying to re-memorize
Because learning them again
Can be so much fun

A few more seconds
Wishing I had
Just that many more





A last thought
The love songs make sense
But I’m left with a silent film
Where my memory feeds the reel
There’s this one capture
Where you’re laying in bed
Coyly smiling
Wrapped in a soft quilt
Eyes closed and dreams conquering
That’s when I knew I loved you

I'll be forever trying
To memorize that moment
Because learning again
Can be so much fun

Fantasy 2

I love you
That’s all that matters now
You know
I wont be able to hide
The way my eyes lock onto yours
Still
What if
We had a moment to ourselves
And time was just a fairy tale

The radio
Would be playing "our song"
Once we picked one out
And a movie
Forged from romance
Not the Hollywood type
Keeps our room dimly lit
We’ll have to get around to making it

Your still moist skin
From lips refusing to stop
Time is just a fairy tale
Try to remember
We might forget
The world might once again invade
Reality is overrated
And I think I hear our song

One kiss

One kiss so divine
One kiss not yet mine
One kiss I wish I knew
One kiss to steal from you

One kiss to savor
One kiss to greet
One kiss of desire
One kiss forged from fire

One kiss not gentle,
One kiss nor rough
One kiss would never be enough
But this one kiss I would never forget
Because this one kiss belongs
To a beautiful girl
I have not met

Broken

Let me be
I’ll do you no wrong
Theres a storm outside
Shut off the alarms
I’ll show you a place to be safe
Nestled within my arms

There were times you felt upset
Or utterly betrayed
Save the pissed off feeling for tomorrow
I need you now

There was shit that went wrong
When you believed we were all the same
Let me be the one to prove
You were just insane

We’re not yet broken
And I’m ready to give this
Another try

Cinderella

whisper forever in your ear

Do you hear the whisper?
Flowing gently in the air
It’s passed by countless earlobes
In a foreign dialect of tongues and rambles
Making it hard to understand
These four simple words

Like a child
swimming around the trees
like little kids with their huge hopes
tickling each green leaf or white stemmed rose
and leaving behind a sketching of your hand
A sketch I’d love to hold

Passing by Victorian houses
It wisps by onto my field of dreams
Where Julie Andrews had her song
And I have my kiss
I’ve wanted all along

It gently knocks at your window
Careful not to wake a sleeping Cinderella
Mindful of the time
It’s half past twelve and
Though one slipper less
And without your silver crown
There is no prince to wake your dreams
Just a gentle whisper
carrying more than it seems



It skittishly encircles your white sheets
Reporting back memorizations
of your entrapping lips
trying to find a way
to convey those four simple words

You awake to morning
Unaware of what was said
To ignore a whisper takes little
And it passed by without pause to share
But give me a night
Where we’re in my field of dreams
And telling you these four words
Is not as hard as it seems
Maybe then I’d recall
These words to say to you
Maybe in more than a whisper
I love you too

A swing and a miss

There are pictures of your smile
Lodged in my brain
Random thoughts and concrete wants
Render me obsolete
Your soft crimson lips were always better in person
I miss the spring

My steps awkwardly circled
A dreamily created hardwood floor
We danced around and around
In all ways foreign
Learning steps and routines
Bad shoes and ripped jeans shed like chaffed skin
And still those lips
So much sweeter in person
I miss the summer

We walk the still stale sand
Annoying enough to merit a chuckle
Too much distance between our hands
While I’ve never more desired
To grasp five fingers
This is a daze to the senses
My nose smells bitter seawater
But my tongue confirms an infinite ecstasy
Confined to those sweet lips
I miss the fall

You gave me a second chance at the future
And nothing will take that away
There is a bitter regret
For getting less than asked for
Never more than bargained
But between the random thoughts and concrete wants
Wedged inside an infinite space
Lies those lips
And I may miss the summer
And I will miss the fall
But ask me up close, I’d say
I miss you most of all

Jimmy Eat Love

We have reached the intersection
Where colors are defined
Like your eyes so azure
And your lips like red wine
Pale skin glistens like moonlight shining
And a smile reflects gently
Reminding me how to fall in love

We were once buried in a sea of grief
Lacking clarity
An acoustic guitar highlighting emblazoned words
Strings guided by your beauty

Still bitter like old champagne
I miss running my fingers through your hair
I don’t know if I can come back
Now so bitter like old champagne
Don’t you forget me, don’t you dare

Summer comes too soon
Where nights highlight the sky
You showed me the inner workings
Cassiopeia has been replaced
By an immortal with greater merits

Given a ring
Playing your favorite song
Leaving on the Jimmy Eat World
I just spoke of Greek goddess’s
Rivaling your smile
Im sick of the complexities
So hear you me, believe in what you want
Just tonight, you’re my love’s savant.

Jade

I longingly peer out
From a long crumbled castle
Outfitted with excuses
Towers of jade glass
Shatter and bleed
Leaving me with little
But so much to need

Thy kingdom came
Scarred the martyr
With diamond shaped wounds
Sparkling like your eyes
And glowing with disdain
Kneeling
Concealing my pride
The gates lower
Sparing the details
Of what went on

They see iron forged from belief
And a shadow of a man
Long since submitted
From long winded fights
Come along
This is done
We’ll rebuild this castle
With my heart you have won

Etch

Quick etchings of your skin
Match your brown eyes
Your rosy cheeks
There’s a slope of your face
Quickly becoming my favorite place

Our word’s carry easy
Lifted with the grace of perfumed air
The past is forgotten
Please end this drought
My lips have wrought
They sacrifice with innocent nobility
They only want you

Let vanity carry us into spring
And lay us on top of Autumn
And May I see you soon
With a promise so hard to keep

We’ll answer the riddle
Of what traps my heart
Like four leaf clovers
Without any excuses
Stripped down
And ready to dive in
Bringing with me
Those etchings of your skin

Updated from previously

A smile reminding me to breathe
Discreetly amazing
Such a pain
With a smell like a summer’s rose
And a taste sweet like autumn’s rain
It may not be meant to
You may not believe
But you left me with an impression
Impossible to conceive

I’m afraid of heights
And I’ll never quite grasp physics
Like the feeling when I touched your hand
An inexact science
Meant for those far greater than myself
Left in a mere mortal’s lap

Time is so tricky
When it blinks it’s eye
We may not speak
It could turn its head
And then my word’s might not reach you
You’ll have to let me know
So I can adjust my lips
Accordingly

This life is brand new
There is little I can define
Thank you for outlining beauty
Your picture hold’s that sign

And it might not be meant to be
I might never understand
This science can be unpredictable
Like the revolutions of the sun
Bouncing along an infinite galaxy
I’ll try my best though
To have answers for this universe
Let me close my eyes
And hold your hand